If you are considering sex counseling, whether as an individual or as a couple, you are not alone. Sex can be hard to talk about within a relationship, and with others, and that can create feelings of isolation, feeling broken or less-than. There is a tendency to believe the myth that sex between two people should just flow naturally. Although couples might have experienced something close to that in the early stages of their relationship, they may now find that isn’t happening. That’s because, like everything else, it takes work to make sex better.
Common among both couples and individuals is the decline of sexual interest by one party or both. Many factors are correlated with this: having a family, work/life balance, anxiety, depression, communication, shameful feelings, religious beliefs, lack of intimacy, physical complications, past sexual trauma and abuse.
Common among survivors of sexual abuse can be feelings of numbness, detachment from the body, dissociation, lack of interest in sex or a very high libido. For survivors of sexual abuse, trauma work is a large part of the work that is done on sessions. The work moves as fast or as slow as is comfortable for you.
Sexual counseling involves both psychological and physiological education including understanding the ways men and women are the same and the ways they differ regarding intimacy and sexuality. Early history such as sexual abuse, parental values, sexual messages expressed either implicitly or explicitly are examined. Cultural myths are debunked and replaced with more accurate ways to understand sexuality.
Homework, exercises and reading are given in order to reinforce the conversations that occur in sessions. Helpful tools are taught to aid in communication, and the expression of needs, wants, and concerns. Empathy and compassion are taught to increase the understanding of both yourself and your partner. In addition, the concepts of individual sexuality and intimacy are explored through conversations, psycho-education, and suggestions for ways an individual or couple can enhance growth outside of session.
Some of the issues we work with
- Body Image
- Physical issues such as vaginal pain, eretile dysfunction, premature ejaculation
- Sexual Desire